The Value of Values

When I first tumbled into being coached, there was a conversation that kept coming up.

It was about values.

And after getting asked for about the millionth time “what are your values Dave?” I realised that I wasn’t sure.

One of my early coaches gave me a big list of words.

So big it went over multiple pages.

And the instructions were simple:

Sit your bum down.

Go through the list of words.

Cross out any that don’t “resonate” with you.

Repeat until you have between three and five words that feel like they’re your values.

Then you write them down, put them in a drawer somewhere, and never look at them again.

When I started coaching people very early on, I did exactly the same.

Done the values bit mate. Now let’s shift onto something more exciting.

But the more I developed my speaking and presenting, the more I really realised that values aren’t just some box to tick on a coaching checklist.

In many ways they’re one of the key foundations of what everything else sits upon.

When speakers don’t bring enough of themselves into their delivery, they miss an opportunity to connect with their audience.

Their expertise is solid. They are speaking to the right audience. The structure is brilliant but it’s missing something and it’s a bit flat.

I wonder if early-on speakers put a disproportionate amount of focus on expertise.

And then miss out why the expertise is important to them.

What drives them.

The thing they stand for.

And if you want to go all Simon Sinek on me - the “why”.

Your values will show up in your speaking whether you like it or not.

They will drive the stories you tell.

The examples you give.

How you connect with your audience.

And when you know what your values are, it means you can be more intentional about how you do all those things.

But values aren’t just a list of words.

(Although ironically I am about to give you a list of three words which are my values FFS)

Freedom. Fairness. Fun.

Those are mine.

A really useful shorthand alliterative rule of three.

Which makes my speaker geek very happy.

Pretty much everything that I’ve experienced and that I do now is driven by those.

Where I hang out.

Choices I’ve made.

Choices I’m yet to make.

Knowing your values is really essential but it’s not something that you do once and then never revisit.

You could, if you fancied a nice analogy, think of them as operating system software that needs updating.

Unlike your phone or your computer, if you don’t update the software, it gets buggy, it runs slow and you’re probably going to get a virus.

(I’m not actually sure whether you’ll really get a virus by not reviewing your values but then I’m not a doctor so what do I know?)

I still look at values with my clients but I don’t do it in a “here’s a list of 3,000 words” way.

We do it with some other really cool exercises.

Those exercises are all about connecting people back to who they are, understanding the values that drive them, and then looking at the stories that come from that.

Because it’s those stories which will make it into speeches and keynotes and talks and will be delivered on stage again and again and again.

So if you are developing your speaking and you haven’t looked at values or you looked at them years ago but you haven’t revisited them, perhaps it’s time.

Especially if you’ve been looking at the more superficial ways to develop your speaking.

Leaving who you are out of your speaking is missing the biggest thing that makes connecting with your audience possible.

And if you want to chat about that, you know where I am.