Just Tell (The Right) Stories

"Just tell stories"

That^ is probably the most common piece of advice given to speakers.

It's not wrong.

But it's not the whole picture either.

Because just telling stories and telling the right stories are two very different things.

We all know stories are powerful.

When we hear them and tell them, it all does some chemically type things in the brain.

They create connection, emotion, and transformation in a way that a beautifully presented graph will never do.

And while we need to tell stories.

Not all of your stories need to be told.

Some are yours to keep.

Some are definitely not ready yet.

Some feel important but don't actually work for your audience.

There is some merit in finding more stories.

In fact one of my daily practices that I give clients is looking for stories from your day.

But there is an even greater benefit in understanding the stories you always have in a deeper way.

I spent quite a lot of time believing that being able to speak in a moment, off the cuff, was where the real connection happened.

When you over prepare, it becomes less authentic.

And while that worked to some degree, there was a point where I realised how powerful it was to spend time with your stories and thinking about the best way to tell them.

Looking at how you use emotion and layers and crowding and leaping…

All those things that create that richer connection to your audience.

It's now clear to me that the stories that you build are the assets that sustain you as a speaker.

If you don't spend the time to work with them, then you're not doing yourself justice.

Or your audience for that matter.

In the work that I do there are three things that I consistently believe every speaker needs to be aware of:

Themselves. Their content. The audience.

Stories tell you who you are.

Stories are the fuel for your content.

Stories build a bridge to the people you're speaking with.

Which is why understanding your stories, not just having them, is so bloody important.

I was working with a client recently in person.

Very early on he told me that he couldn't tell stories.

He was very adamant that he wasn't the storyteller.

We kept talking.

I kept listening.

And as the conversation did its thing, I started to jot things down on whiteboard paper.

Words.

Experiences.

Moments.

All of them are his.

After a while and filling two sheets of paper, I pointed at them and said “oh so you're not a storyteller then?”.

He laughed.

Then looked a bit uncomfortable.

He is no different to the majority of people I work with.

They have loads of stories.

They just haven't seen them that way before.

The work I do with clients shows them that the stories aren't missing.

What's missing is the understanding of what those stories mean.

What the stories say about them and which are the right ones to tell.

And how to tell them.

When you find the right story, everything changes.

For you and for them.

Yes that's cliched and perhaps even some people would say “something shifts or lands”.

When you hear the stories of your clients who sit with a groupsof people, tell them a story and have them absolutely gripped in the moment... well that puts a smile on my face that only a surgeon could remove.

Then when they tell you about the opportunities for them in their work and their life, it led to…

Mate, that's a proper grin.

So for the obvious engagement at the end of a newsletter I better give you a question > What's the story you always tell people? 

Not the one you think you should tell.

But the one which falls out of your mouth at every opportunity.

Perhaps even the one that your mates go, “yeah I've heard this before."

Once we have that, then we can do the work to understand if it's the right story to tell.

And if you'd like some help working that out, that's exactly the kind of thing that I do.

Give me a shout.