Start by borrowing

When you first start speaking you probably don't know what your speaking style is.

That's not a criticism BTW.

I reckon it's true of many things.

You don't really have a reference point for what your version of speaking looks like.

You don't have the evidence or the experience or the time served.

When you decide that you want to speak, you start by looking around and seeing what you like.

You watch how other speakers you admire do their thing. 

How they move.

What they say.

How they use their visuals.

And to begin you probably don't understand what it is they're doing.

You just know that you like it.

Then you begin to borrow things.

Imitate.

Mimic.

Until you find what works for you.

One of the questions I ask at the very beginning of the work I do with a client is:

“Who's a speaker you admire and why?”

Because the answers always tell me more than perhaps they expect.

If they like humour, they probably value lightness and connection.

If they like clarity, they probably value precision and structure.

If they admire someone's vulnerability, they probably value honesty and courage.

The choice of the speakers they admire and why will be linked very closely to their values and character and also where they see themselves going in the future.

I also love the fact that the speakers people admire are rarely the same.

Yes you'll get your Simon Sinek's and your Brené Brown’s.

But you'll also get that bloke from accounting who spoke at a conference 15 years ago.

Whoever they admire leaves something behind 

What does this all tell you? 

It tells you that there is no single template for what a great speaker looks like.

Yes there are certain frameworks, patterns, and structures which sit underneath all of this.

But how we take that as individuals and express it is always different.

It tells you that there is no right or wrong when it comes to speaking.

I reckon it's simply about having more connection than disconnection with your audience and helping people to be a bit less shit.

It tells you that you develop your speaking style over time.

You can make some really big shifts in your speaking very quickly.

But to become a really good speaker takes time - you have to get on stage, record yourself speaking, watch it and then improve.

I know that I've been on this journey.

And I still am.

I watch speakers all the time and think, "Oh that's really cool. I wonder if I could try that?”.

Over time you find your speaking style.

You just have to go through the process and do it with intention.

Who's a speaker you admire and why?