It starts with you...

When people first start speaking they don't really know their identity as a speaker.

They have no reference point. No framework. No line in the sand.

So asking someone "Who are you as a speaker?" isn't a great question, because they just don't know.

Instead I ask a totally different question:

Who is your favourite speaker? And why?

(Yes I know that's two questions but bear with me)

And those questions say a lot more about the person than perhaps you'd expect.

If they like the speaker's humour, then they value lightness and connection.

If they like the speaker's clarity and structure, then they value process and precision.

If they like the vulnerability, then they value honesty, courage, and authenticity.

I know this isn't an exact science but it's a really useful place to start.

These questions help to highlight values.

If you're a coach or you've ever been coached, then you will have come across values quite a lot.

And I'm not going to tell you the best way to work it out because there are loads of different ways of doing it:

Big lists of words.

Questionnaires.

Diagrams that look like circles with lots of colours.

Honestly however you do it is fine because the method isn't the point.

The point is to identify the things that drive you.

The things that help you to make decisions.

And to understand who you are.

I'd been coaching for a little while before I did a formal values exercise.

When I identified the values that were important to me - freedom, fun, and fairness - it was like changing the dim light bulb in my office for the brightest one possible.

It illuminated corners of the space that I'd never seen before.

Understanding my values allowed me to see things in a very different way.

I could understand the choices I'd made in the past more clearly.

I could see why I'd done things in one way and not another.

It helped guide me on decisions I was making in the future.

So how does this fit in with developing your speaking practise?

When you understand your values and you speak from that place, things definitely get easier.

You’re more present.

You're more connected.

You don't waste energy.

Now I'm not saying that if you know your values you instantly become the best speaker ever.

Like all things this is one piece of the puzzle.

But if you're tempted to go to beautiful slides before anything else, step away from PowerPoint and start to look at your values instead.

Look this isn't about labelling you.

And it's definitely not about me telling you who you are.

It is simply a place to start.

A way of paying attention to what matters and what's important to you before we build the speaking skills on top.

Who is your favourite speaker, and why?